1 00:00:03,779 --> 00:00:06,820 Tommy, I can't sleep. 2 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,440 Yeah, well, I can, so how about letting me, huh? 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,300 All right, Nicholas, what's the problem? 4 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,660 Well, I've been thinking. 5 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,900 You woke me up just to tell me that? 6 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,340 Yeah, Dad said Abby's parents are called in -laws. 7 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:25,720 Mm -hmm. 8 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:29,760 So, are in -laws really a pain like Dad said? 9 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,900 How should I know? I don't have any. 10 00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:35,330 You gotta get married to have in -laws, right? 11 00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:37,410 Right. 12 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,850 So, if I never get married, I'll never have any in -laws. 13 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:43,610 Profound, Nicholas. 14 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:44,950 Profound. 15 00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:47,350 Thanks, Tommy. Good night. 16 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,750 Hey, Nicholas, you're not thinking of getting married in the near future, are 17 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,750 you? 18 00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:55,950 No way. 19 00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:57,970 Then why are you asking about in -laws? 20 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:03,180 Well, I just wanted to check things out, you know, so I don't get any surprises 21 00:02:26,019 --> 00:02:27,019 Lookie here. 22 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,860 Sorry, I don't kiss on the first date. 23 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,180 No, no, no, no. See that? 24 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,780 That is a whisker. You know most guys don't even shave till they're 17. 25 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,140 Think maybe I could pass for 17? 26 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,580 Maybe in the dark. If you're nearsighted and desperate. 27 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,840 Thanks a lot. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to shave. 28 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,740 Ah, what are you going to use, tweezers? 29 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,140 Every morning and evening for 20 minutes. I mean, it's like living in a 30 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,060 with zombies. So how long has this been going on? 31 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,380 Ever since Saturday, since she went to that lecture with Mari. What do you 32 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,580 think? Should we commit her now or maybe wait a few days? 33 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,140 Who are we committing this with? 34 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,780 Susan. She started meditating. 35 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,040 I'll get it. Probably for me. 36 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,940 What is funny? I'm sure nobody else lives here, right? Hello? 37 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,080 Yes, 38 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,559 just a second. 39 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,560 It's for you, Abby. 40 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,680 See? 41 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:27,820 For me? 42 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,400 Hello, yes, this is Abby. 43 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:30,599 Hey, Mom! 44 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,600 How are you? 45 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,420 Yeah, I'm good. 46 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:34,640 Everything's fine. How's Dad? 47 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,000 Yes, everyone's fine. 48 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,400 They're great. 49 00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:40,120 Pasadena? Yeah. 50 00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:44,580 I always thought they passed little notes to each other on my wall 51 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,240 Yeah, well, it has been a long time, that's for sure. 52 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:50,800 Gee, Mom, I don't know. That's kind of short notice. 53 00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:56,630 Oh, I see. You're exhibiting your Westphalian begonias at the Pasadena 54 00:03:56,630 --> 00:03:57,630 Show. 55 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:02,490 No, no, Mama. I'm sure Tom would love to see that. Really. 56 00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:06,730 Look, you know, the thing to do is for me to talk to him and then try to get 57 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:07,730 back to you tomorrow. Is that okay? 58 00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:09,350 Yeah. 59 00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:13,030 Yeah, it's great talking to you, Mama. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? 60 00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:14,630 Right. Bye -bye. 61 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:21,690 He will never talk him into that. No way. 62 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,340 Well, it's worth a try. Lots of luck. 63 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,880 Westphalian begonias, huh? 64 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:32,380 Westphalian begonias? 65 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:37,680 Mother enters them every year. They're really quite lovely, you know. Oh, come 66 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,060 on. I don't even like flowers. 67 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,240 Well, Tom, that wouldn't be the only reason we're going, of course. I mean, 68 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,240 would be nice to visit them. I mean, we haven't been able to the last several 69 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,920 times they've asked us, you know. We've been busy every other time. 70 00:04:48,690 --> 00:04:53,050 Oh, gosh, I forgot. You know why I can't go? I had that stupid poker game this 71 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:53,869 Friday night. 72 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,390 That's not what Max said. Max said that it's a week from Friday. 73 00:04:56,610 --> 00:05:01,110 Oh, is it? Well, I get mixed up. Anyway, I can't go because I'm way behind on my 74 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:04,650 column. Not according to your editor. What do you do? Put a private detective 75 00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:07,870 me? Look, the last five times you've had an excuse, so I just decided to check 76 00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:08,870 everything out in advance. 77 00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:12,370 How about I just don't want to go? Did you check that one out? 78 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:16,520 How about you just don't like my parents? That's it, isn't it? Oh, no, 79 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,460 that. That's not it. I like your parents. I mean, they're all right for 80 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:24,500 -laws, I guess. It's just that I don't like leaving these children alone. 81 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,980 Tom, four of them are legal adults, and the rest of them are very self 82 00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:31,540 -sufficient, and you know it. Self -sufficient, yes, but disciplined, 83 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,920 another question. I tell you something, if we leave them alone for a weekend, 84 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,020 anarchy will reign in this house. So? 85 00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:38,220 So? 86 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,220 So you won't be around to see it. 87 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:42,060 Look, I have a great idea. 88 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:43,660 Why don't we go in July? 89 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,680 Pasadena is beautiful in July. 90 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:48,020 Tom! 91 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:50,720 Christmas? 92 00:05:54,820 --> 00:06:00,740 I thought only women lied about their age. Now, you see, Linda has this very 93 00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:03,740 strict policy. She only goes out with guys that are 17 or older. 94 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,140 Is she worth it? Is she worth it? David, wait till you see her picture. I copped 95 00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:09,140 it from the yearbook editor. 96 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,160 This is the girl of my dreams. 97 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,920 Maybe we ought to call a doctor. 98 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,220 How about a mechanic? I think her fan belt's slipping. 99 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,520 babysit? No, not really babysit. More like supervise. You know, just keep an 100 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,780 on the house, make sure it doesn't burn down. 101 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,300 You can even use our bedroom. 102 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,700 Now, hold on a second. 103 00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,700 You mean you want me to play parent for the weekend? 104 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,720 Well, I'm certainly not going to leave these kids alone without some 105 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,380 supervision. Now, wait a minute. You've got four daughters over 18. 106 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,080 Tommy and Elizabeth are old enough to take care of themselves. 107 00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:15,000 That leaves you with six people to supervise Nicholas, who happens to be a 108 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,060 pretty self -sufficient kid. 109 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,100 All right. How much is it worth to you? 110 00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:22,210 Oh, no, no, no, no. You couldn't pay me enough to take that job. That's why I 111 00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:23,029 moved out, remember? 112 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,030 You mean you won't do it? 113 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:25,750 You know what I think? 114 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:29,510 I think all this concern over leaving the kids for the weekend is a big smoke 115 00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:31,270 screen. Smoke screen? What for? 116 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:33,570 You don't want to go to Pasadena, do you? 117 00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:42,950 Boy, sharing a set of rollers is definitely the last word in 118 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,410 sorry I left mine at Ellen's. I'll buy a new set tomorrow. 119 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,870 Hey, what do you think? Is Dad going to break down and go to Pasadena? 120 00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:50,450 The smart money says no. 121 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:51,690 It's the smart money. 122 00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:55,850 There is no way he's going to go. 123 00:07:57,670 --> 00:07:58,670 Oh. 124 00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:01,230 Don't you think Abby can talk him into it? 125 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:06,250 Nope. Dad has a real talent for manufacturing excuses for things he 126 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,250 to do. Yeah. 127 00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:11,390 Boy, you'd think he was being drawn and quartered, you know? I mean, they're 128 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,130 only in -laws. What's so terrible about in -laws? 129 00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:15,330 You gotta get divorced to get rid of them. 130 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:19,870 All I know is if Dad doesn't give in, there is gonna be... War. 131 00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,490 I win, I win! 132 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:27,790 You win, you win. 133 00:08:28,410 --> 00:08:29,470 Wanna play again? 134 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:31,930 Nah, you're too quick for me, Cincinnati. 135 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:34,730 Hey, Tommy. 136 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,510 Think Dad's gonna give in and go away? 137 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,010 I sure hope so. 138 00:08:39,549 --> 00:08:40,549 How come? 139 00:08:41,309 --> 00:08:42,330 You don't wanna know. 140 00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:43,789 Why don't I wanna know? 141 00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:46,490 Because it'll give you ideas. I gotta go shave. 142 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,070 Again? 143 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:57,850 In -laws, eh? 144 00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:01,070 They are one of the hidden terrors of matrimony. 145 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:04,630 Did I ever tell you about Daisy's mother, Millicent? 146 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:08,150 Six times you told me about her. She's the one who rearranges the furniture. 147 00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:11,450 Look, don't get me wrong, Max. It's not that I dislike my in -laws. 148 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:12,970 It's just that I... 149 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,240 I don't like them. 150 00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:19,840 You see, Catherine is going to have an exhibition of her Westfagan begonias at 151 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,120 the Pasadena Flower Show. 152 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,340 This undoubtedly means that Harry is going to want to have 18 holes of paw 153 00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:26,780 with me, and he's so boring. 154 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,840 Tom, you haven't broken 80 since the last time you were on a miniature golf 155 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:31,840 course with Nicholas. 156 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:32,960 I know. 157 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:33,980 I cheated. 158 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,720 Look at it this way. At least you'll have a few days away from the kids. 159 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,700 Yeah, when I come home, the whole house might be gone. 160 00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:45,190 Max, I have an idea. 161 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,930 Listen, I'll make a deal with you. 162 00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:51,470 Here's what you do. If I do decide to go away, you just drop around to my house, 163 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,910 as if you were in the neighborhood, you know, and kind of check things out. 164 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:59,050 Why don't I just cruise by and check for smoldering ruins? 165 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:01,570 Max! All right, all right. 166 00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:03,630 Just for that, I'm going to take you to lunch. 167 00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:05,710 Oh, the Jalisco hot dog pit? 168 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,970 Oh, no, no. We're going to go first class. 169 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,700 A petit Jordan? 170 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:13,060 Please, I could hire a private detective for what that place costs. 171 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:17,340 Uh -uh. I'm going to take you to a very small, but not unamusing, middle 172 00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:21,360 European restaurant called the Dubrovnik Goulash House. 173 00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:23,860 Grease, Tom. 174 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,380 Grease. Good grease, Max. 175 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:27,580 Good grease. 176 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:36,840 What I'm concerned about is responsibility and 177 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:37,840 organization. 178 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,130 in the smooth running of this household. 179 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,170 But, Dad, it's only two days. 180 00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:46,890 Please. Rome burned in a night. Dad, why are you so paranoid about this weekend? 181 00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,810 You've left us alone before. 182 00:10:49,110 --> 00:10:53,710 Yes, and I remember very well the New York trip. We returned only to find two 183 00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:58,410 dozen empty pizza cartons, eight unmade beds, a dismantled motorcycle in the 184 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,550 kitchen, and a Labrador retriever. Oh, he was so cute. 185 00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:05,330 Oh, he was adorable, sure. He loved our carpeting. 186 00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:12,150 Yeah, yeah. Well, things are going to be different this time. This time I'm 187 00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:14,150 going to organize things correctly. Do you understand? 188 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:18,050 We're going to have certain ground rules. We're going to have a chain of 189 00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:21,890 command. Now, the first rule is going to be that nobody outside of this family 190 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,950 is allowed in the house. 191 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,210 What? Just for the weekend. 192 00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:29,490 It'll make things much easier for the commander. 193 00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:34,030 Commander? Dad, this is not the army, and I think you're overdoing it a 194 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:34,629 don't you? 195 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:37,270 No, I don't. And neither should you, because... 196 00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:39,350 You are the commander. 197 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,310 Me? Why me? 198 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,890 Because you're the oldest. I'm putting you in charge. 199 00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:47,250 Now, if anything should happen and you have to leave the house, then the chain 200 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:51,430 of command will go to Joanie, because she's the next oldest, and so forth, in 201 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:52,450 reverse order of age. 202 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:54,490 It'll never get to me. 203 00:11:55,090 --> 00:12:00,930 Now, all normal rules, such as household duties and curfews, will remain in 204 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,450 force starting Friday night. 205 00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:06,510 Please, don't forget to turn the thermostat down to 60 every night. Put 206 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:10,870 garbage out. Remember that. Eat regular balanced meals at regular hours. Tom, 207 00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,990 we're going to miss our plane. Oh, yes, the plane. That's right. Okay, and be 208 00:12:13,990 --> 00:12:16,930 sure to lock the doors at night. Put out the lights. Leave your windows open 209 00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:20,390 from the top. You know, just a crack. No more than that. If the pilot light on 210 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,690 the furnace goes out, don't you try to relight it. Call the gas company. The 211 00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:25,030 phone number's in the kitchen. Have a good time. 212 00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:26,369 We love you. 213 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,370 Bye. 214 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,990 He's like a little kid. 215 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,200 I'm using it. 216 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:20,120 I know you're still there. 217 00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,060 Hello, Frank? 218 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,200 Yeah, hi, this is Elizabeth. 219 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,460 Um, what are you doing this weekend? 220 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,700 Well, see, my parents have gone out of town until Sunday. 221 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,160 Oh, hello, Linda. 222 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,840 Yeah, I got the run of the place. 223 00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:49,719 Uh -huh. 224 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,140 Yeah, my parents are out of town. What do you say we, uh, get together? 225 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,940 Hi, Irving. This is Nicholas. 226 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:58,380 Hey, you still want to run away from home? 227 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,689 Hey, Irvin. 228 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:27,330 Wake up. I brought you some cereal. 229 00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:28,770 Oh, thanks. 230 00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:31,570 Hungry, huh? 231 00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:34,750 Yeah. Ran away before dinner. 232 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:39,310 Well, you can stay here until Sunday, because that's where my parents get 233 00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:41,190 See, they have to park the car in here. 234 00:15:41,689 --> 00:15:42,689 Okay. 235 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,450 Hey, listen. 236 00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,290 What did your parents do to you anyway? 237 00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:51,470 I stuck bubble gum in my sister's milk glass, and they wanted me to drink the 238 00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:52,650 milk and apologize. 239 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:54,910 Oh, boy. 240 00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:57,650 Sounds awful. 241 00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,350 Ah, good morning, Commander. 242 00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:06,670 Walk away from it, Tommy. 243 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:10,510 Well, you are the senior ranking officer, aren't you? I didn't want the 244 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:14,060 remember? Oh, I'm so sorry. It's so lonely at the top. 245 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:18,140 Don't worry about it, kid. You'll get through it, okay? Just remember, your 246 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:21,740 power is derived from the people. What is that supposed to mean? 247 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:24,520 Well, you remember what happened to Marie Antoinette, don't you? 248 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,340 Hi, 249 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,680 I'm Marvin from Patagonia. 250 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,900 Hi, I'm Mary from Sacramento. 251 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,600 You don't know me, but my father's cousin Ralph... You know Ralph and 252 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,600 from Akron? 253 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,760 It's second cousins once removed from your father's brother, Henry. Which 254 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,900 it like second cousins twice removed. 255 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,400 Or is it third cousins once removed? 256 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,040 I don't know. 257 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,560 Anyway, I got your address off a Christmas card. 258 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000 What? 259 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,300 Listen, can I come in? 260 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,800 Oh, here, come on in. I'm sorry. 261 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,160 Pack is heavy. 262 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,800 Do you have a cold? 263 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,980 Oh, hay fever. 264 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,619 Been in the truck all night. 265 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,359 Dusty, very dusty. Hi. Hello. 266 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,180 Hi. I'm Marvin from Patagonia. 267 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,339 Cousin. From Patagonia. 268 00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:29,799 Hi, Gus. 269 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,800 Hi. 270 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,460 Uh, listen, you guys wouldn't have anything to eat, would you? 271 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:39,520 So I said to myself, Marvin, there has to be more to life than one movie 272 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,160 theater, two bowling alleys, and a discount drugstore. 273 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,780 You know what the big thing to do is on a Saturday night in Patagonia? 274 00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:51,800 You go down to the gas station off of the interstate and you watch them lube 275 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,680 cars. Oh, yeah. 276 00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:55,800 Well, where are you heading? 277 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,200 San Francisco. 278 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,620 I hate Ashbury. 279 00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:01,180 I intend to become a flower child. 280 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:08,900 Marvin, I hate to break this to you, but that whole hate Ashbury thing, it broke 281 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,460 up at least five years ago. 282 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,640 What? 283 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:14,580 Are you sure? 284 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,120 Um, sure. 285 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,540 Well, why didn't anybody tell me? 286 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:25,300 Well, it was never officially announced. 287 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:33,600 It says right here that Siddhartha journeyed across the river to the land 288 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,040 self. I took that to mean the Sacramento River. 289 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,300 Well, you could still go to San Francisco, Marvin. It's a nice place. 290 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,600 There's Coit Tower, the Fisherman's Wharf. Aha, aha, worldly distractions. 291 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:48,960 When Sid Arthur went to the city, he mingled with unsavory women and 292 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:49,960 unscrupulous men. 293 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,220 I'm just going to have to rethink things, that's all. 294 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,840 Hey, uh, listen, you guys don't mind if I crash here for a while? 295 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,700 No. Oh, no. 296 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:05,280 No. No, there's a couch in the sun porch over there. 297 00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:06,580 All right, thanks a lot. 298 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,380 Boy. 299 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:12,520 You know, you guys have a really terrific commune going here. 300 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:19,620 They had no parents. I thought we weren't 301 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,160 supposed to have anybody in the house. 302 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,980 Yeah, anybody outside the family, that is. 303 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,360 Unfortunately, Marvin is family. 304 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,900 All right, Elizabeth, I'll get right to the point. I happen to know that you 305 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,500 invited Frank North over here tonight. 306 00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:39,030 So what if I did? 307 00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:43,350 Well, besides being against the special regulations that the chief issued, I 308 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:47,670 also know that Frank North is 19 and a flunk out from the Navy. He didn't flunk 309 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:50,690 out. He was dishonorably discharged. I know. I checked him out. 310 00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,130 Yeah, but what are you going to do, tell Dad he's not here? 311 00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:57,170 No, Elizabeth, I'm not going to tell Dad. Or even as Deputy Sheriff Mary. 312 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,850 No, what I'm going to do is I'm going to make a little deal with you. 313 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,050 I'm listening. 314 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:06,830 You know Linda Imes, the girl that only goes out with 17 -year -old guys? 315 00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:11,570 I think we should have a few sophisticated people over for drinks and 316 00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:15,470 conversation. Yeah, but what about the rule against having people over? 317 00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:18,030 going to care, Nancy. We're going to be so quiet, subtle. 318 00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:20,210 Besides, everyone will be out anyway. 319 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:22,810 How many people should we have? 320 00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:26,050 Six. That's the ideal number for intelligent conversation. 321 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,230 Oh, just a few people. You know, about 10 or 15. 322 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:32,630 Your older brother? 323 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,490 Yeah, sure, he can come. 324 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,550 Well, we really hadn't thought about music. 325 00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:39,790 A band. 326 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,270 Where are we going to get a band? Just leave it to me. 327 00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,430 We're having a band. 328 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:49,830 Boy, you're really following your orders to the letter, aren't you, Commander? 329 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:54,190 Yeah, regular meals at regular hours. Who ever heard of this family eating 330 00:20:54,190 --> 00:20:59,010 Saturday lunch together? Yeah. Yeah, how come Susan's going to eat? Oh, well, 331 00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:02,790 Susan's not exactly with us this weekend. She's on her way to Kofi. 332 00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,670 Kofi? Where's Kofi? 333 00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,440 Southwest of Patagonia. 334 00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:11,120 Mary, can I go feed the squirrel for lunch? 335 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,900 Nicola, I don't think squirrels like split peas, do they? 336 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,520 How do you know? You're not a squirrel. 337 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:20,820 Yeah. Come on, Commander, let the little boy go outside. 338 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,060 Yeah, let the squirrel. Come on, you old witch. 339 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,239 Let him go. 340 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:30,700 Look at you guys. I didn't want to take this job, okay? I agreed to do it. And 341 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,720 since I agreed to do it, I'm going to do it right. 342 00:21:33,230 --> 00:21:34,750 Sounds like Nixon, doesn't it? 343 00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:36,430 That's below the belt, Johnny. 344 00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:40,390 Oh, come on, Mary. Lighten up. You're one of us, remember? 345 00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:44,370 Besides, Dad and Abby will never know if we break a little rule or two. Yeah, 346 00:21:44,410 --> 00:21:45,410 who's going to tell them? 347 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:49,950 Yeah, I mean, for instance, say one of us wanted to have a few friends over 348 00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:53,950 tonight. Yeah, I suppose one of us did want to have a few friends over tonight. 349 00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:57,510 You wouldn't squeal, would you? It'd be her word against ours. 350 00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,530 I declare a mutiny. 351 00:21:59,790 --> 00:22:01,950 Workers unite. We have nothing to lose but our chance. 352 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:10,490 Listen, guys, I hate to ruin your mood, but I'd rather quit than fight. I 353 00:22:10,490 --> 00:22:13,810 advocate. Joanie, you're next in line. You remember the chain of command? 354 00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,230 Have a good time. 355 00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:20,310 Have a good time. Oh, no, I'm not. Look at me. It's all yours. Merry Christmas. 356 00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:21,590 Oh, 357 00:22:24,270 --> 00:22:25,270 here you go, kid. 358 00:22:26,330 --> 00:22:27,330 I'm in charge? 359 00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:29,510 That's right. It's your ship. Take over, Captain. 360 00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:35,890 I gotta go take my allergy pill. 361 00:22:38,030 --> 00:22:39,170 Beware of power, Nicholas. 362 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:40,690 It corrupts men. 363 00:23:18,380 --> 00:23:19,380 Mom, I'm okay. 364 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,380 No, Mom, my hay fever hasn't been bothering me much. 365 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:24,840 Yes, 366 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,460 Mom, I've packed plenty of clean underwear. 367 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,840 No, I can't tell you where I am. 368 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,400 Of course I know where I am. 369 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,840 I'm finally free of Patagonia. 370 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,460 You should see me now, Mom. You wouldn't recognize me anymore. I'm finally 371 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,460 blossoming. 372 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,420 No, not my complexion. My karma. 373 00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:49,650 Karma is something that isn't in Patagonia. 374 00:23:50,270 --> 00:23:52,030 Listen, Ma, I can't talk anymore. 375 00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:55,130 Next time you hear from me, I'll be in Nirvana. 376 00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:58,850 What? No, no, you can't call me there. 377 00:23:59,410 --> 00:24:01,670 I'll call you. Ma, bye. 378 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:09,730 Boy, you're so lucky to have it all together. 379 00:24:17,740 --> 00:24:19,780 Have you seen the living room? No. Is it missing? 380 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,860 Joke if you want, Mary. Joke if you want. But you have no idea what is going 381 00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:25,659 down there. 382 00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:28,720 Tommy says he needs party clothes, so he is moving out all of the furniture. 383 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,560 Terrific. That ought to get him just what he needs. Hey, what about the rest 384 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,840 us, huh? Nancy and I have people coming over here, too. 385 00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:37,720 Now, how is an intimate group of mature people supposed to socialize when the 386 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,300 only conversation area is the fireplace? 387 00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:42,560 That's a good question, Joanie. And I have just the answer for you. 388 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:43,840 Find out for yourself. 389 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,700 Look at, uh... 390 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,440 I am not the ruler around here anymore, remember? 391 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,700 Anarchy reigns. Mary, you can't just wash your hands of this. We need your 392 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,019 Oh, yeah? 393 00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:54,020 Yeah. 394 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:56,900 Well, as one anarchist to another, I have two suggestions. 395 00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:58,500 Yes? 396 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:02,920 Stay out of my room if you value your life, and don't burn the house down. It 397 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,060 just might upset Dad. 398 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,660 seen my copy of Sid Arthur? 399 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:02,940 Sid who? 400 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,080 Never mind. 401 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,700 That one of your brothers? 402 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,840 No, that's my cousin Marvin from Patagonia. 403 00:26:09,140 --> 00:26:10,240 That's a weird name. 404 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,720 Patagonia? No, Marvin. 405 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:21,300 Look, why can't you guys just use the screen porch? 406 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:26,960 Why don't you guys? Yeah, why don't you guys? I mean, you are... Okay, come on, 407 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,640 come on. Why don't we be calm, mature, rational? 408 00:26:30,010 --> 00:26:35,330 this okay i mean we've got one saturday night right okay let it down the middle 409 00:26:35,330 --> 00:26:39,910 now you guys can take the first half and then what around 10 o 'clock or so we 410 00:26:39,910 --> 00:26:44,530 can use the living room 10 o 'clock 10 o 'clock is fair 10 o 'clock is not fair 411 00:26:44,530 --> 00:26:47,730 the night's still young the band will just be getting started oh the band the 412 00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:54,090 band hey tommy 413 00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,310 worry about it. Just go sit up in there. How's things? 414 00:26:58,650 --> 00:26:59,650 Terrific. Just terrific. 415 00:26:59,930 --> 00:27:01,750 All right. Yeah, right in the room. 416 00:27:01,950 --> 00:27:06,350 Tommy. Tommy. Watch out for the windows. Tommy. Forget this. Tommy. Tommy, 417 00:27:07,890 --> 00:27:11,250 you cannot do this. It's already being done. Well, I do it. 418 00:27:11,510 --> 00:27:14,290 No way, Nancy. This house is as much ours as it is yours. 419 00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:19,230 Just give up on them. Okay, you can have the living room. We'll take the screen 420 00:27:19,230 --> 00:27:21,230 porch and the kitchen is up for grabs. 421 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000 Out, Nicholas, out. 422 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,300 But I'm in charge. 423 00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,080 Yeah, you're in charge. I'll ride to the backyard to take a hike. 424 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,200 But, Nicholas, outside. 425 00:27:37,660 --> 00:27:38,660 All right. 426 00:27:40,740 --> 00:27:43,620 Come on, Irving. Looks like we have to camp out. 427 00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:45,100 But you said you were in charge. 428 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,480 Yeah, but we're outnumbered. 429 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,280 David, I was outnumbered. 430 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,220 I mean, now I know how Captain Queeg felt in McCain Mutiny. 431 00:27:55,460 --> 00:27:56,800 So seriously. 432 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,400 What would you, uh, think if I called Dad? 433 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,440 And give him an excuse to come back early from Pasadena? No, Abby would 434 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,439 forgive you. 435 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:07,440 You're right, huh? 436 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,940 I suggest we let our brothers and sisters make their own mistakes. 437 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,280 We did the same things when we were their age. 438 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,480 It's their turn. 439 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,760 Right again. 440 00:28:17,540 --> 00:28:18,540 Yeah. Yeah. 441 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,120 Come on, we can check on him later. 442 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,860 Yeah, and in the meantime... In the meantime, we're going to go to dinner 443 00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:24,860 movie. Oh, yeah? 444 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,120 Well, I hope it's a comedy and I hope I have good food. 445 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:30,660 Yes, it's a very funny restaurant across town, the Dubrovnik Goulash House. 446 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,880 Grease, David, grease. 447 00:28:33,540 --> 00:28:35,280 Good grease, Mary, good grease. 448 00:29:19,690 --> 00:29:20,489 Hey, Liz. 449 00:29:20,490 --> 00:29:23,710 Hi. Hey, you scored a little something for your party, huh? Oh, great. 450 00:29:23,990 --> 00:29:27,130 Oh, I haven't missed any excitement. Not at all. Not at all. Hi, Vicki. How are 451 00:29:27,130 --> 00:29:28,109 you? Great. 452 00:29:28,110 --> 00:29:29,990 Right in there is great. Come on in. 453 00:29:30,570 --> 00:29:31,570 Hey, 454 00:29:35,450 --> 00:29:36,890 I think we found the place. 455 00:29:37,250 --> 00:29:40,010 Don't lie, man. You just got to start taking me serious when I tell you about 456 00:29:40,010 --> 00:29:40,749 open party. 457 00:29:40,750 --> 00:29:44,570 Hi. Hey, make yourselves at home. I'm Marvin from Patagonia. Oh, yeah. Sure. 458 00:29:44,670 --> 00:29:45,670 Thanks a lot, man. 459 00:29:45,990 --> 00:29:49,050 And I'm Paulie, and this here's Carlton. And where were the chances? 460 00:29:49,630 --> 00:29:53,010 Yeah, I don't think we ever met anyone from the Patagonians before. 461 00:29:53,330 --> 00:29:55,670 How many members you got in your club, dude? 462 00:29:55,890 --> 00:29:57,810 Try this. Tastes just like cherries. 463 00:30:01,190 --> 00:30:02,190 Come on, let's dance. 464 00:30:15,070 --> 00:30:17,590 It's so sweet to throw this party for me, Tommy. 465 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,760 It was nothing. I just wanted to be sure you had a good time on our first date. 466 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:22,840 Oh, I am. 467 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,960 You know, I never told you this, Tommy, but I think you're very much working 468 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,180 with me. Oh, really? 469 00:30:30,180 --> 00:30:31,560 It's hard to believe you're only 17. 470 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:34,200 Yeah, well, I've been around a lot. 471 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,480 Smoke? Oh, I never smoke on dates. 472 00:30:55,530 --> 00:30:57,550 I don't get it. What's the brain in the pan theory? 473 00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,290 Metaphysics, darling. 474 00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:03,430 If the man has no way of knowing he's not just a brain in a pan plugged into a 475 00:31:03,430 --> 00:31:07,830 computer by some evil genius, that means you only experience what the computer 476 00:31:07,830 --> 00:31:08,870 tells you to experience. 477 00:31:09,190 --> 00:31:10,290 I don't believe that stuff. 478 00:31:11,010 --> 00:31:13,310 That's because the computer tells you not to believe it. 479 00:31:14,270 --> 00:31:19,210 Personally, I'm into solipsism. I mean, how do I know that I'm not the only 480 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:23,870 person in the universe and everything else, you people included, aren't just, 481 00:31:23,870 --> 00:31:26,000 uh... Figments of my imagination. 482 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,520 That's very interesting. 483 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,400 Nance, I don't know anyone out there. 484 00:31:36,860 --> 00:31:37,819 Don't worry. 485 00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:39,800 They're probably figments of your imagination. 486 00:31:47,940 --> 00:31:50,860 See, I kind of identify with Siddhartha. 487 00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,600 Siddhartha? Who is he? 488 00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,140 No, it's Siddhartha. 489 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,160 You see, he was on a journey looking for enlightenment just like me. 490 00:31:57,420 --> 00:31:59,520 Yeah, I'm trying to find the flower children. 491 00:32:00,140 --> 00:32:01,520 The flower children? 492 00:32:01,740 --> 00:32:03,280 I don't believe it. 493 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,860 Wake up, buddy. You're in a time warp. 494 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,540 What's a time warp? 495 00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:09,400 Boy, I have a lot to learn. 496 00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:11,380 Hi. Hi. 497 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,660 Hi, I'm Marvin from Patagonia. Oh, hey, that's cool. 498 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,020 I mean, everybody's got to come from somewhere. 499 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:25,260 We heard that this was a BYOB party, so we brought our own brownies. Made from 500 00:32:25,260 --> 00:32:31,160 my very own homegrown stash. One bite, and it's happy trails, too. 501 00:32:33,060 --> 00:32:38,320 Oh, where's the kitchen? Because these have got to cool off before we can get 502 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,160 up. It's right over there. 503 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,320 Hey, would you guys happen to know what a time warp is? 504 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,320 Nancy, what do you think of existentialism? 505 00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:50,020 Oh. 506 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,500 Well, I can take it or leave it. 507 00:33:29,230 --> 00:33:30,230 You guys want to dance? 508 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:02,680 I think I've had enough, really. 509 00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:03,940 Come on. 510 00:34:04,140 --> 00:34:05,320 There's only a little left. 511 00:34:13,739 --> 00:34:15,239 Let's go someplace quiet. 512 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,500 Yeah, sounds like a good idea. 513 00:34:19,940 --> 00:34:20,960 Hold on a second. 514 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:27,940 I'll be right back. 515 00:34:29,580 --> 00:34:31,719 You stay right there. Get another bottle out in the car. 516 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:39,400 Hey, you and Linda seem to be getting along. 517 00:34:40,060 --> 00:34:41,440 Yeah, so do you and Frank. 518 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,739 Tommy, you're all these people. 519 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,360 I don't know half of them. 520 00:34:45,860 --> 00:34:49,300 Probably friends of Nancy's or Junie's. Look, what are you even drinking anyway? 521 00:34:50,020 --> 00:34:51,920 Nothing. I think you've had enough. 522 00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:54,260 Tommy, leave me alone. I'm having fun. 523 00:34:54,980 --> 00:34:58,100 Elizabeth, will you start acting your age? Can't you just see that this guy's 524 00:34:58,100 --> 00:34:59,100 trying to set you up? 525 00:34:59,790 --> 00:35:01,630 Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. 526 00:35:01,990 --> 00:35:03,130 17 -year -old. 527 00:35:08,870 --> 00:35:09,870 Right, 528 00:35:14,510 --> 00:35:17,590 Elizabeth, have it your way. But if something happens, you're on your own. 529 00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:21,250 Oh, Tommy. 530 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,180 Wow, some party. Yeah, I never see any of these people before. 531 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,280 Come on, let's go back to the tent. 532 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,480 Don't forget the ice cream. All right. 533 00:35:40,820 --> 00:35:42,360 Come on, Tommy, let's go. 534 00:35:42,620 --> 00:35:43,620 We'll have fun. 535 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:45,280 Come 536 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:56,040 on. 537 00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:57,740 Tommy? 538 00:36:04,710 --> 00:36:05,710 Amen. 539 00:36:35,630 --> 00:36:39,990 Absolutely incredible how some people totally tune out to their environment. 540 00:36:40,270 --> 00:36:41,149 I know. 541 00:36:41,150 --> 00:36:43,410 You can't even get a smile out of her. 542 00:36:43,630 --> 00:36:49,610 I bet she's transcended to the next level. I wonder if the trip made her 543 00:36:53,290 --> 00:36:54,290 Guys? 544 00:36:56,010 --> 00:36:57,210 You guys are impossible. 545 00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:59,430 Hey, welcome to ground level, Bradford. 546 00:36:59,970 --> 00:37:01,990 Hey, forget the brownies. Let's party. All right. 547 00:37:02,250 --> 00:37:04,190 We did it. I know. 548 00:37:04,470 --> 00:37:05,470 All right. 549 00:37:11,140 --> 00:37:12,140 Let's go in here. 550 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,500 So what? 551 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,060 It's got all the essential parts, doesn't it? 552 00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:23,520 Oh, no, no. Because, see, if somebody comes upstairs, we're not supposed to 553 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:24,520 boys up here. 554 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:31,460 Well, we'll just lock the door, turn off the lights, and no one will know we're 555 00:37:31,460 --> 00:37:32,460 here. 556 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:36,880 first. 557 00:37:37,260 --> 00:37:38,680 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 558 00:37:40,420 --> 00:37:41,620 What are you talking about, kid? 559 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,180 Getting a girl drunk is pretty chicken, don't you think? 560 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,960 Or is that what they teach you in the Navy? 561 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,120 Who's this guy anyway? 562 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:49,640 My little brother. 563 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,120 I think it's Matt. 564 00:37:52,780 --> 00:37:54,440 So what's with you, huh, little brother? 565 00:37:54,780 --> 00:37:56,720 You some sort of chaperone or something? 566 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,160 Yeah, if it makes you happy. 567 00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:00,320 It's making me very unhappy. 568 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,800 No kid is going to tell me what I can and cannot do. 569 00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:05,430 I'm not a kid. I'm 17. 570 00:38:07,330 --> 00:38:09,690 You're only 15 and you know it. 571 00:38:11,170 --> 00:38:12,470 15 years old. 572 00:38:18,370 --> 00:38:19,370 You want to try me? 573 00:38:19,610 --> 00:38:20,610 Try you? 574 00:38:20,870 --> 00:38:21,950 You and what army? 575 00:38:23,030 --> 00:38:24,930 Don't let your size make a fool out of you. 576 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,800 with fighting over. 577 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,000 Hey, Tommy, you're lucky he didn't call you on your bluff. 578 00:38:57,460 --> 00:38:58,460 It was bluffing. 579 00:39:00,620 --> 00:39:01,620 You lied. 580 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,020 You said you were 17. 581 00:39:03,940 --> 00:39:06,520 Yeah, I guess some things are kind of hard to keep a secret, aren't they? 582 00:39:06,860 --> 00:39:09,120 Why don't you go chase after Frank? He's more your speed. 583 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,760 Excuse me. 584 00:39:24,380 --> 00:39:25,400 What happened? 585 00:39:26,180 --> 00:39:27,880 Lucky for us, nothing. 586 00:39:28,260 --> 00:39:29,260 Come on, sis. 587 00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:31,180 It's time to go night -night. 588 00:39:37,900 --> 00:39:38,900 I guess the party's over. 589 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:40,880 Come on. 590 00:39:45,740 --> 00:39:47,620 All right. Here you go. 591 00:39:48,740 --> 00:39:49,740 Where's Frank? 592 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,540 He had a previous appointment. 593 00:39:52,060 --> 00:39:53,060 Oh. 594 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,800 I don't feel so hot. 595 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,900 It could be a lot worse. 596 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,540 Tommy, it's getting worse. 597 00:40:04,020 --> 00:40:05,760 Hey, Marvin. 598 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:11,020 Us Jasons and you Patagonians, we ought to get together some club night. I know, 599 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,019 man. 600 00:40:12,020 --> 00:40:13,420 Good night. Good night. 601 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,360 Good night, guys. You know, I used to really get into meditation until I 602 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,580 my mantra. An existentialist doesn't forget. He really chooses not to 603 00:40:21,580 --> 00:40:22,519 That's wonderful. 604 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:23,299 Good night. 605 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:27,220 Bye. Bye -bye. See you later. Bye -bye. Great party. Bye -bye. Yeah, we love 606 00:40:27,220 --> 00:40:31,040 you. It's really key, you know. Good night. Good night. Lots of fun. Good 607 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,860 Would you mind telling me what is going on? 608 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,160 Disaster's too numerous to mention. 609 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,340 I'm sorry the party's over. You'll have to leave. 610 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,420 Marvin from Patagonia. 611 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,600 My reputation precedes me. 612 00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:55,180 Well, Nicholas and Irving are asleep outside in the tent. 613 00:40:55,860 --> 00:40:57,580 Fine. No reason to involve them in this. 614 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,460 Hey, look, Dad and Abby won't be home till about six o 'clock tomorrow night, 615 00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:06,250 so... Why don't we just hit the sack and deal with this disaster tomorrow? 616 00:41:06,610 --> 00:41:07,610 Okay. 617 00:41:07,630 --> 00:41:09,910 As the first one up, wake everybody up. 618 00:41:10,950 --> 00:41:12,110 I'll be by early to help. 619 00:41:15,190 --> 00:41:18,430 Mary, I'm really sorry about all of this. 620 00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,850 It's all right, Tommy. It doesn't look like there's any permanent damage. 621 00:41:22,590 --> 00:41:24,670 By the way, how was the party? 622 00:41:25,910 --> 00:41:26,930 It had its moments. 623 00:41:29,770 --> 00:41:30,770 I bet. 624 00:41:58,410 --> 00:41:59,850 Yes, everything's fine here. 625 00:42:01,950 --> 00:42:02,950 Yeah? 626 00:42:03,650 --> 00:42:06,510 You're what? You're arriving at 11 .52. 627 00:42:08,310 --> 00:42:09,310 Tonight. 628 00:42:10,650 --> 00:42:11,650 This morning. 629 00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:16,650 Uh, what? No, nothing is wrong, Abby. Everything is fine, really. 630 00:42:17,390 --> 00:42:20,090 No, it's just that I'm excited. I'm glad you're coming home early. 631 00:42:20,350 --> 00:42:21,350 Really. 632 00:42:22,230 --> 00:42:23,650 Okay, have a safe trip. 633 00:42:24,630 --> 00:42:25,630 Bye. 634 00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:41,660 Morning, 635 00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:48,800 Tommy. I was just on my way to the golf course, and I, uh... Well, actually, 636 00:42:48,860 --> 00:42:52,780 your dad asked me to stop by and check up on you guys. Oh, gosh, that was 637 00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:53,780 nice of him. 638 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,460 Well, can I let you in? 639 00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:01,140 Oh, gee, I'd like to let you in, but see, Dad left strict orders not to let 640 00:43:01,140 --> 00:43:02,260 non -family members in. 641 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:03,740 I'm practically family. 642 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:07,860 Well, that's just a mere technicality. For all I know, this was some scheme 643 00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:10,180 Dad concocted to make sure we were following orders. 644 00:43:11,180 --> 00:43:12,300 Gotcha. Okay. 645 00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:16,540 You just be sure to tell your dad that I stopped by. He now owes me a case of 646 00:43:16,540 --> 00:43:17,540 heartburn. 647 00:44:43,180 --> 00:44:45,240 Um, you're all packed up. Are you leaving already? 648 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,680 Yeah, I've stayed long enough. 649 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,120 Well, good luck on your journey, and I hope you find the flower children. 650 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,200 If I do, they'll have to be in Patagonia. 651 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:55,920 I'm going home. 652 00:44:56,020 --> 00:44:57,320 You're going home? Why? 653 00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:00,220 Because I'm in a time warp. 654 00:45:00,980 --> 00:45:02,940 Because the boat sailed without me. 655 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:07,400 Because I've seen what it's like on the outside, and I can't handle it. 656 00:45:08,220 --> 00:45:10,120 Things are much simpler in Patagonia. 657 00:45:11,610 --> 00:45:13,350 Here. I want you to have this. 658 00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:15,490 Your copy of Siddhartha? 659 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:17,870 Where I'm going, I won't be needing it. 660 00:45:20,010 --> 00:45:21,450 Bye. Bye. 661 00:45:34,270 --> 00:45:35,270 Excuse me. 662 00:45:35,590 --> 00:45:38,530 I'm Mrs. Moore from up the street. I'm looking for my son. 663 00:45:38,810 --> 00:45:40,530 I'm Marvin from Patagonia. 664 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:41,920 I'm looking for my soul. 665 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:57,660 Is my Irving here? 666 00:45:58,020 --> 00:45:59,020 Yeah, I think so. 667 00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:00,620 Nicholas? 668 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,480 Irving. Julius Moore. 669 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:11,880 Come here this instant. 670 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,600 We've been looking all over for you, son. 671 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,640 Your mother's been sick with worry. 672 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,620 Your father hasn't slept all night. 673 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,800 Well, son, what do you have to say for yourself? 674 00:46:25,300 --> 00:46:27,500 I won't come home unless you change my name. 675 00:46:42,700 --> 00:46:45,400 I'd say when we Bradford's put our mind to it, yeah, we can correct our 676 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:46,400 mistakes. 677 00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:48,760 Hey, Tommy. 678 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:50,520 I want to thank you. 679 00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:54,320 Hey, don't worry about it. It's cool. 680 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:58,640 Joanie! 681 00:46:59,060 --> 00:47:00,360 Joanie! What? 682 00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:04,660 Do you remember the brain in the pan theory? Some things one never forgets. 683 00:47:04,660 --> 00:47:05,660 about the other one? 684 00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:07,520 The body in the bathtub theory. 685 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,400 What? Yeah. 686 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:10,640 Come on. 687 00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,420 You know, that's the most interesting I've ever seen him. 688 00:47:25,980 --> 00:47:27,140 Dad and Abby are here. 689 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,200 Come on, rise and shine, Aristotle. 690 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,440 Get up, come on, get up. Time to go. Hurry, hurry. 691 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:39,320 We're right on time. 692 00:47:53,260 --> 00:47:54,260 I'm looking to see. 693 00:48:23,799 --> 00:48:26,300 Untouched. I mean, that's strange, isn't it? 694 00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,040 Huh. 695 00:48:28,620 --> 00:48:32,300 You know, something is going on in this house that I don't understand. 696 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:33,800 What do you mean? 697 00:48:34,020 --> 00:48:36,400 Well, for one thing, look. 698 00:48:37,020 --> 00:48:39,080 It's barely ten o 'clock and everybody's in bed. 699 00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:40,360 Maybe they're tired? 700 00:48:40,620 --> 00:48:42,140 There's another thing. Look around. 701 00:48:42,380 --> 00:48:44,180 The house is cleaner now than when we left. 702 00:48:47,260 --> 00:48:50,680 Maybe the kids just wanted to surprise us. Do you want some cream? No, thanks. 703 00:48:51,070 --> 00:48:51,828 There's more. 704 00:48:51,830 --> 00:48:55,150 Do you know I found a blob of onion dip on the dining room chandelier? 705 00:48:57,930 --> 00:49:00,830 I have no explanation for that one. To tell you the truth, I don't want any 706 00:49:00,830 --> 00:49:03,610 answers to these questions. I'm afraid of what I might find out. 707 00:49:03,830 --> 00:49:06,550 I think you're just being suspicious. I mean, we went away, we came back, 708 00:49:06,650 --> 00:49:09,830 everybody's safe and sound. Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess I am being silly. 709 00:49:10,590 --> 00:49:12,810 Well, shall we? 710 00:49:13,150 --> 00:49:15,170 Yeah, but it's just a welcome home gift. 711 00:49:15,390 --> 00:49:17,310 It'd be a crime to have them go to waste. Welcome home.